Scobles Scraps

Cheers to the girls who lasted the night

2009-08-23T20:11:00.002+10:00

In April at a 'gathering' Brom and I decided we should go out again. Her and I had only been out once before, in January. But it had been FUN. Tar & I have been out several times and never had a bad time. Now, when i say out, I mean out. One of those nights were you end up spending several hundred dollars and wonder how, where you start with predrinks, try cocktails along the way, end up eating little and try a few clubs before finding the one and stay there until 2,3,4 in the morning. The next day you should have few plans. The trick with these nights is the more planning you put in the worse the night will be. So Bom and I decided that i'd talk to Tar and choose a a date, put it on her facebook and we'd not make any more plans til the day before.

As always life got in the way, nearly four months later we finally set a date. I started making plans but didn't share them til the days before then i start feeling i'd over thought it so suggested we cancel. No Way Tar responded, her and Brom were to excited. So two days before I let them know my thoughts. They agreed and we'd have a couple extras joining us along the way. The day of I booked the restaurant, nd we organised meeting for pre-drinks. then Brom cancels. Tar and I decide to go ahead still. Brom will join us for a pre drink before we leave. After leaving the snacks i was meant to bring at work, I go buy more to save time, then in the rush to catch my tram, I leave the second lot at home. I get to my tram stop only to see it 50 meters down the road - after my stop... I wait the fifteen minutes til the next one and arrive in Vermont 50 minutes later with the task of finding Tar some foundation as she's left her make up bag in Julz's car. I meet mum (Tar's mum) and we walk around coles buying the snacks (my third attempt) I forgot, make up and other bits an pieces, then mum drives me home. I find Tar and Brom getting ready - Brom has changed her mind. Mum and I put some food together, and we drink

The cab has been booked for eight, and Brom is going to stay at Tar's house, and Tar is going to stay at Julz's. All seems to be coming together til Brom realises she's left her license at her shop. so she's going to get that, drive home ,and we'll pick her up from there. As I go to call the cab to delay the pick up he rings the doorbell. e says he'll return at 8.30, Brom leaves, mum gets confused. But its going to be ok. 20 minutes or so later we get a call from Brom. She's locked her keys in her car. Including her house key. She now has her license but can't go home. We suggest she call RACVand we'll meet her at her car instead of at home. She calls back, understandably stressed by the situation. And now the cab is back, she has a decision to make... She's not going to come so we jump in the cab, just the two of us, meeting the other two at the restaurant. The cab ride is fun, and the driver is cute! The alcohol is wearing off by the time we arrive - COCKTAIL time. We order and the others arrive. Tar's dad calls, after her mum confuses him as well. Nothing strange about this, but he goes to bed about 8pm, and gets up at 4am. So an 10pm call is rather odd. We eat and chat as girls do. A few cocktails, yummy food and a couple hours later we discuss where we are going next. Af says she's been where we were thinking of before and she doesn't rate it. But they are going home anyway. so now Tar and I have a decision to make...

In a couple of hours we need to meet Julz in Prahan. So we decide to get th girls to drop us off down there on their way home. Surely there'll be something for us to do down there... so we say goodbye to the girls just past Chapel Street (Prahan) and go to cross the road at lights at a side street just down from Chapl. A car runs the red light, and hits another car, mostly ripping off its bumper bar. Tar being the good citizen decides we should give our details as witnesses, so we go down another side street to where they have pulled over to assess the damage. We give our details anda start making our way back, on the way we decide to stop at a club that seems pretty popular, $15 cover charge, this better be worth it. Some guys ask if they can join us as the club won't let in just guys - its a guy/girl ratio thing. So we have a group of5 as far as the door. then tar and I head to the bathroom, never to see the guys again. Seeing all the girls around we realise we are the most covered up girls there. As we leave the bathroom we notice our light coloured skin and blondeish hair is standing out. It seems we have found a clubfor Italians, Greeks and the like. We decide to grab a drink, take a seat and people watch. Its fun for a while, but the novelty wears off so we go to leave but decide we have to have one dance first. We dance to one of the over-reminxed songs they are playing waiting for it to be over. Where to next?

Chapel street. We walk along, interested in some of the people walking by, and laughing at how our night is turning out. We are meant to meet Julz at a bar on the corner of Chapel and Greville so we walk down Greville to find it assuming its down that way. We don't find his bar, but we come across a bar still open although quiet. Tar hs been here before but it was much busier last time. We grab a drink from a bar tender who is obviously new, and take a seat. Tar with her wine, me with my vodka, we laugh at our night - a comedy of errors & cheers - to the girls who lasted the night...

Baby, Baby, Baby

2009-01-05T22:31:00.003+11:00

So the news of the day is that Kathryn had her baby... Kathryn is my best friend. I don't use that term lightly... During highschool i had several 'best friends', it wasn't till i met K and became friends with her that i understood true friendship. She didn't judge me, she loved me unconditionally, she was honest with me... It's hard to keep up a quality friendship long distance, sometimes i wonder if she still considers me her best friend, but I know that i'm a part of her life, and her family in a way few other people are. When i was in the states her sister introduced me to ppl as her sister. And when she told me about the baby today, she said i was an Aunty, again...

There's a bond there that time and distance can not sever, and I love that.

So baby Jahare was born on the 1st, he is waiting to be named, apparently he is going to choose a name tomorrow... we'll see. I've decided to head up there on the 24th for a week, its been 7.5 yrs, i can't tell you how scared and excited i am. I have been wanting to jump out of my skin tonight.

I don't have a picture of the baby yet, i'm sure they'll be plentiful once i've been.

But my photo for today is a picture of my best friend. The most beautiful, amazing person I know... And the person in this world I daily thank God for... And when I see the southern cross in the sky I ALWAYS say hi to her and blow a kiss... Just so I remember all that she means to me... Not that i could ever forget...

And for today

2009-01-04T22:17:00.002+11:00

I don't really have much to say today, and to be honest i have a headache - i think from swimming for a couple hours!

But two things, firstly i'm actually kinda excited about going to work tomorrow coz i'm going to book my trip to PNG (hopefully). Haven't been there in 7.5 years, so I am really excited about it. Once that's booked i think my day may go downhill again!

Secondly, I'm feeling really blessed by God at the moment. He has these small ways of coming through for me. I don't pray for them, and i don't feel deserving, but I do feel blessed and have spent a lot of time thanking Him.

Ciao.

2009-01-04T22:16:00.002+11:00

i forgot my picture for yesterdays blog that i did today.

Yes man

2009-01-04T22:09:00.002+11:00

I know i'm naughty for not writing yesterday, third day in and i can't keep up... it can only go down from here coz i start work tomorrow! But i'm hoping... The silly thing is i literally did nothing yesterday... i watched TV, read, did stuff on the computer with my photos. but didn't go out or anything. So i have no excuse for not writing. I did however have a topic...

I saw yes man the other night (Friday) and early on in the movie, Suraj (who i was there with - obviously) asked if i thought i was a 'yes man'. I said it depended on the circumstances, but i think generally yes. He asked if i thought he was, and i asked if he thought he was...

But now i'm wondering, am I really a yes man? In the movie its represented as saying yes to EVERYTHING. And if you say no all these terrible things happen. I wouldn't say I'm a yes man to that extent, but I reckon i'm pretty open to new experiences. I often use lack of funds as an excuse not to do things, but that's not right, that really isn't a good enough excuse.

So the long and the short of it is that this year, or even over the next couple months I need to a. be more aware of what i say no to, and b. say yes to more things that come my way. It can't hurt right?

We are all Gods people...

2009-01-02T19:47:00.003+11:00

I was just putting my make up on to go out tonight, and remembered the first time i noticed someone had a different skin colour to me... Nori is Sri Lankan, i knew that, I knew her whole family, but it wasn't till we were one day out shopping, i'd say we'd been friends for about 5 years, we were looking at foundation, and she made a comment about how it was hard for her to get make up to match her skin colour, and i asked why, then looked at her, i'm sure her and Jackie (who was also there) laughed at me for it, but it was the first time I realised she had a different skin colour to me. Can you see her above?

It amazes me how so many people grow up seeing colour, especially these days? I know I have racist thoughts, but I certainly wouldn't call myself a racist, I complain about certain races driving ability, I remember thinking when I went to the states how so many mexicans had crappy jobs, and being scared of black people. Where does this come from? Is it just the movies? I know my thoughts are normal, and maybe its just coz here we don't have Mexicans and Black people are try hard ganstas here (hehe) but i just don't get how i've ended up with these thoughts, when it took so long for me to see a close friend had a different skin colour to me. After meeting several black people in the US i realised they are not all bad, every country has bad people, of all races, but now i wouldn't be scared of black people... Ok, and i know i'm not meant to call them black, BUT here we don't have African Americans, we have black people - aboriginals, people from the south pacific, Africa... all over, you can't narrow it down. So please forgive my terminology.

Anyway, i'm just confused how a. some people grow up knowing and being racist and other people - like me, its happened over time... But i still wouldn't call myself a racist - there's a lot of crappy caucasian drivers out there too!

010109

2009-01-02T00:29:00.003+11:00

Ok, this is kinda silly, but i've realised taking a photo shouldn't be too hard given i have a decent camera phone (photos are decent during the day at least) and from that i can email them to myself. So we'll see what happens. Anyway, photo 1, this is from sitting in my bed (i said i was in a small room) i had to get rid of a heap of photo frames, and i wanted to have special photos up, it brings good vibes - ppl i love, ppl who love me... Anyway, i put them all up but the door they are on was a little open at the time and i was standing on the side, so it wasn't till i'd put them all up that i realised ALL of them were crooked... character?

New Year... New start?

2009-01-02T00:15:00.003+11:00

I can't believe 2008 is over, i say that every year but i mean it... again.

I've had a pretty amazing year, been to the states for almost a month, and then Paris & Dubai.
I'm wondering if i can record this year properly in a blog... i'll try anyway!
Maybe even try the random photo thing... (a photo a day...)

I hope to travel more this year... trying to figure it all out. First trip will hopefully be to PNG for a week or so coz Kathryn was due to have a baby a week ago. Then maybe a cruise with a few girlfriends, and i'm looking at China and the Trans-siberian railway. But we'll see... I planned to do more this year than i did, so you never know.

Brony, a close friend got engaged a few weeks ago so that's exciting. And now there's an engagement party for me to help organise.

I had a great Christmas with the family. Worked on my tan a little, and just had fun... It's rare for that to happen in my family.

What else? I moved house in late October, now am in a TINY room in a two bedroom apartment. It's small but location is great, and I am happy here - so far ;)

I'm really looking forward to 2009, and whats in store, my aim is to continue to better myself and be a better person. It'd be hard for me not to fulfill that new years resolution...

I thought of an idea re the photo thing... gonna do that now!

Work changes are exciting???

2008-10-01T08:28:00.002+10:00

So i got in trouble the other day for not updating my blog... i'm sorry. I don't have an excuse, for some reason i guess i just never feel there's anything important to say.

Anyway, my big exciting thing that happened yesterday that probably won't be that exciting to anyone else is:

haha, you have to read the whole story. So Friday's in my office are a bitch. The last few weeks i've ended up in tears from being too stressed and making stupid mistakes. I've mentioned it to my boss and she suggested I work from 10am til 6.30. Coz i generally don't leave till 7 on Friday's anyway, the problem is starting later on a Friday will just mean i work later, so starting at 10 i'd end up leaving at 9pm or something. So i had a performance review, it was actually a really good one. We have them monthly so they arent as official as the ones i'm used. I also don't get a pay rise out of them. :) It's all about budgets and targets and stuff.

Anyway, so to solve my Friday problem I'm now going to be working 9-1 on Saturdays and start at 1 on Mondays. It seems stupid that i think having to go to work 6 days a week is exciting, but i get a bit of a sleep in on Saturdays still, i don't have as bad Mondayitis and given i work most weekends anyway, it will mean time in the office when its quiet - rather than on Mondays when the phone is ringing.

So that's my exciting news, i'll have to report back after i've done it a few times to let you know if it actually works.

I choose to be happy!

2008-05-22T08:42:00.002+10:00

Things have been tough lately. I've been working WAY too much and now uni is finishing up so the stress of assignments and exams has hit me. On top of that i'm seeing a guy who is really sweet but typical Emily is over analysing everything. I'm going to America in August, and i'm stressed about money. I've also not had a real home since September. I've been a bit down, and i'm sure lack of sleep has contributed to that... But today i'm choosing to be happy:

* I'm almost finished uni after 4 long years working my butt off at work and uni! WOHOO
* I only have one more assignment and one more exam! WOHOO
* I haven't had to work that much this week, i've got stuff to do but I'm not pressured! WOHOO
* This guy says he likes me, and seems really sweet... that's it. If he's not right there are plenty other fishies in the sea! WOHOO
* I'm going to America in August and fulfilling a long term dream! WOHOO
* I'm going to get to see friends i haven't seen in years, who actually understand me and are as crazy as me! WOHOO
* I have somewhere warm to sleep, i have that many things to make me comfortable its not funny. I have food to eat. So many ppl have less! And fingers crossed i'll have a permanent home in a month or so! WOHOO
* I had a pretty good nights sleep last night! WOHOO

So today. I choose to be happy...

'Always look on the bright side of life'...

Red Marbles

2008-05-06T20:36:00.002+10:00

I got an email today called 'Red Marbles'. I'm not going to post the whole story, but i thought these were cool so thought i'd blog them. Some i've heard before, but I just like them what can i say???
I want to live the kinda life that leaves a mark... What am I doing today to leave my mark???

We will not be remembered by our words but by our kind deeds.
Life is not measured by the breaths we take but by the moments that take our breath away...
Today I wish you a day of ordinary miracles…
A fresh pot of coffee you didn't make yourself…
An unexpected phone call from an old friend…
Green lights on your way to work…
The fastest line at the grocery store…
A good sing-along song on the radio…
Your keys found right where you left them…

It's not what you gather but what you scatter that tells what kind of life you have lived.

Haha, i suck!

2008-04-05T16:13:00.002+11:00

Ok i'm not going to go on about how much i suck for never writing or how i always think of brilliant things to say but never remember to say them! But i am going to complain about this bloody blog (not coz it hasn't been updated in ages) but because it takes me 5minutes to login. It uses my old email address and I can NEVER remember my password for it so i have to the 10 different possible combinations - capital M, little m, one 1, two 1's, no 1's... Anyone who knows me will be now be able to figure out what my password is but oh well... whatcha gonna do? write things on my blog and try to sound like me??? Who cares?? haha
Oh, next complaint is that because I use my old google account each time i log in here it undoes my automatic log in to googles home page next time i use explorer (or firefox). So then i have to remember that password again. I gotta fix that... i'm sure if i do it'll make me write more often... or not... :)

Contemplation

2008-01-23T20:55:00.001+11:00

Why is it that death makes you contemplate your life? and if you do contemplate it and find that you don't like it how do you change it?

Don't get me wrong i like my life and HEAPS about it, but i feel like there should be more and i'm constantly waiting for something to be done so that i can do more in life... i dunno, that's my contemplation for the day...

My heart crys for Matilda...

It's over!

2008-01-21T21:40:00.001+11:00

Man, it feels like life is going by so quickly. I can't believe its been a couple weeks since i last wrote. I've had HEAPS to say yet not got my act into gear. The wedding is my main excuse for having no time, but its over now so i have no excuse. Well, other than i'm utterly exhausted.

Really, i don't know if i have anything interesting to say. I read some of my friends blog's and they can always find something interesting to talk about, me, well, there's work, friends, my crappy home life and work. So it's kinda dull. I don't get to travel, i don't have a boyfriend/husband/significant other, i go out for meals but usually its for the company not for the experience... i just can't think of anything that anyone would want to hear about. But then does anyone read this anyway so does it really matter?

Trav found my blog last week, but givne it hasn't been updated much i'd be suprised if he came back, and those that used to read it would have disappeared after the long wait also. So really what's the point? To talk about my inner most thoughts? Do i need to share them? Where do you draw the line wiht what you share?

Hmmm. lots to think about, yet i have no brain and i can't think about much at the moment. We have a long weekend next weekend so i'm hoping i'll get some time to do nothing and in doing nothing get my brain together enough to think!

I'm here, i'm alive

2008-01-02T22:00:00.000+11:00

Hello! I have been kinda distant, don't really have anything to say this time, but wanted to let you all know that i'm here. I hate it when people don't update their blogs for ages so I have to get my act into gear...

I'm a bridesmaid in a friends wedding a couple weeks so that's keeping me busy. Hen's night is this Saturday, briday shower the following sunday, wedding the following Friday... crazy! But it keeps life interesting, i'll post photos on facebook when i get them.

Hmmm, what else? not much to speak of really. There's a possum out my window grrring at me, he's been there the last half an hour or so and is getting kinda annoying.

Ok. I'll go but i promise to write again soon. And it'll be more interesting next time.

Me

2007-10-16T10:10:00.000+10:00

I was looking for a girl on facebook, ended up on someone else's profile with the same name. Found the below and decided I liked it so i'd borrow it... :)

Dont expect wonders from me
I drink and I dont care
People concentrate too much on what happens next, rather than whats happening now. Before they know it, the moment is gone and they weren't there to enjoy it.
I couldnt ask for much more out of life.

Three things

2007-10-12T11:51:00.000+10:00

Three things in life that, once gone, never come back:
Time, Words, Opportunity

Three things in life that one should always have:
Hope, Peace, Honesty

Three things in life that are most valuable:
Love, Friends, Self-confidence

Three things in life that are never certain:
Success, Dreams, Fortune

Three things in life that make a good person:
Sincerity, Hard Work, Compassion,

Three things in life that can destroy a person:
Pride, Greed, Anger

2007 Australian Citizenship test

2007-09-26T13:08:00.000+10:00

1. Do you understand the meaning, but are unable to explain the origin of, the term "died in the a*se"?
___________________________________
2. What is a "bloody little beauty"?
___________________________________
3. Are these terms related: chuck a sickie; chuck a spaz; chuck a U-ey?___________________________________
4. Explain the following passage: "In the arvo last Chrissy the relosrocked up for a barbie, some bevvies and a few snags. After a bit of aBex and a lie down we opened the pressies, scoffed all the chockies, bickies and lollies. Then we drained a few tinnies and Mum did her blockafter Dad and Steve had a barney and a bit of biffo."
__________________________________
5. Macca, Chooka and Wanger are driving to Surfers in their Torana. If they are travelling at 100 km/h while listening to Barnsey, Farnsey andAcca Dacca, how many slabs will each person on average consume betweenflashing a brown eye and having a slash?___________________________
6. Complete the following sentences:a) "If the van's rockin' don't bother ...b) You're going home in the back of a ...c) Fair crack of the ...
_________________________________
7. I've had a gutful and I can't be fagged. Discuss
__________________________________
8. Have you ever been on the giving or receiving end of a wedgie? __________________________________
9. Do you have a friend or relative who has a car in their front yard "up on blocks"? Is his name Bruce and does he have a wife called Cheryl?
__________________________________
10. Does your family regularly eat a dish involving mincemeat, cabbage, curry powder and a packet of chicken noodle soup called either chow mein, chop suey or kai see ming?__________________________________
11. What are the ingredients in a rissole?
__________________________________
12. Demonstrate the correct procedure for eating a Tim Tam. __________________________________
13. Do you have an Aunty Irene who smokes 30 cigarettes a day and sounds like a bloke?__________________________________
14. In any two-hour period have you ever eaten three-bean salad, a chop and two serves of pav washed down with someone else's beer that has been flogged from a bath full of ice?__________________________________
15. When you go to a bring- your-own-meat barbie can you eat other people's meat or are you only allowed to eat your own?
__________________________________
16. What purple root vegetable beginning with the letter "b" is required by law to be included in a hamburger with the lot?
__________________________________
17. Do you own or have you ever owned a lawn mower, a pair of thongs, an Esky or Ugg boots? __________________________________
18. Is it possible to "prang a car" while doing "circle work"?__________________________________
19. Who would you like to crack on to?
__________________________________
20. Who is the most Australian: Kevin "Bloody" Wilson, John "True Blue" Williamson, Kylie Minogue or Warnie?
__________________________________
21. Is there someone you are only mates with because they own a trailer or have a pool?_________________________________
22. What does "sinkin p*ss at a mates joint and getten para" mean?_________________________________

Close your eyes...

2007-09-22T23:44:00.000+10:00

Why is it then we (I) are in a completely dark room we close our eyes. I get changed in the dark and i have my eyes shut, i went to the toilet in the dark (in the middle of the day) and i had my eyes shut... It's strange...

The email i was talking about.

2007-09-11T23:13:00.000+10:00

Why The Lord Made Woman

By the time the Lord made woman, he was into his sixth day of working overtime. An angel appeared and said, "Why are you spending so much time on this one?" And the Lord answered, "Have you seen my spec sheet on her? She has to be completely washable, but not plastic, have over 200 movable parts,all replaceable and able to run on diet coke and leftovers, have a lap that can hold four children at one time, have a kiss that can cure anything from a scraped knee to a broken heart -and she will do everything with only two hands."
The angel was astounded at the requirements. "Only two hands!? No way! And that's just on the standard model? That's too much work for one day. Wait until tomorrow to finish.""But I won't," the Lord protested. "I am so close to finishing this creation that is so close to my own heart. She already heals herself when she is sick AND can work 18 hour days." The angel moved closer and touched the woman. "But you have made her so soft Lord." "She is soft," the Lord agreed, "but I have also made her tough. You have no idea what she can endure or accomplish."
"Will she be able to think?" asked the angel. The Lord replied, "Not only will she be able to think, she will be able to reason and negotiate."The angel then noticed something, and reaching out, touched the woman's cheek. "Oops, it looks like you have a leak in this model. I told youthat you were trying to put too much into this one.""That's not a leak," the Lord corrected, "that's a tear!" "What's the tear for?" the angel asked.
The Lord said, "The tear is her way of expressing her joy, her sorrow, her pain, her disappointment, her love, her loneliness, her grief and her pride.The angel was impressed. "You are a genius, Lord. You thought of everything! Woman is truly amazing."

And she is!

Women have strengths that amaze men. They bear hardships and they carry burdens, but they hold happiness, love and joy. They smile when they want to scream. They sing when they want to cry. They cry when they are happy and laugh when they are nervous. They fight for what they believe in. They stand up to in justice. They don't take "no" for an answer when they believe there is a better solution. They go without so their family can have. They go to the doctor with a frightened friend. They love unconditionally. They cry when their children excel and cheer when their friends get awards. They are happy when they hear about a birth or a wedding. Their hearts break when a friend dies. They grieve at the loss of a family member, yet they are strong when they think there is no strength left. They know that a hug and a kiss can heal a broken heart. Women come in all shapes, sizes and colors. They'll drive, fly, walk, run or e-mail you to show how much they care about you. The heart of a woman is what makes the world keep turning. They bring joy, hope and love. They have compassion and ideals. They give moral support to their family and friends.

Women have vital things to say and everything to give.

Tears...

2007-09-11T22:25:00.000+10:00

I've tried writing this before but stupidly closed the session before i'd finished... Anyway, as anyone who knows me knows i don't like to cry, well so i lie ppl to think, i actually find it really theraputic, but I DREAD doing it in front of ppl. I've been known to blatenly turn my back and walk away from ppl who are obviously just trying to help. Anyway, lately i'm been on a bit of an emotional roller-coaster, i'm definitely on the improve but i think there's still a bit further to go. Despite my not wanting to share the fact that i do actually cry a few times recently i've noticed a few things about tears...

There's this moment, when unexpectantly tears well up and it stings as your dry eyes are slowly made moist, it hurts, but it feels good, it doesn't happen all the time, but it can help make the tears all the more intense.

After crying for a bit, and letting them run down your cheeks go outside, let the wind blow on them, it's a distraction, but more so it feels nice...

It's all about experiencing the emotion. God gave us tears for some reason, it maybe because women leak (that'll make sense if you've read the email) or it could just be so that for those few moments (or however long you cry for) you are caught up in the moment, in that emotion and that seems like all of your world...

There was a third one, but i can't remember it. I promise to cry again soon so I can figure out what it was!

How do you measure your life?

2007-08-12T20:29:00.000+10:00

I know SO many of my friends here know of this song/play/movie. But seriously, how do you measure your life?

ALL
Five hundred twenty-five thousand
Six hundred minutes,
Five hundred twenty-five thousand
Moments so dear.

Five hundred twenty-five thousand
Six hundred minutes
How do you measure, measure a year?

In daylights, in sunsets, in midnights
In cups of coffee
In inches, in miles, in laughter, in strife.
In five hundred twenty-five thousand
Six hundred minutes
How do you measure
A year in the life?

How about love?
How about love?
How about love?
Measure in love
Seasons of love.
Seasons of love

JOANNE
Five hundred twenty-five thousand
Six hundred minutes!
Five hundred twenty-five thousand
Journeys to plan.
Five hundred twenty-five thousand
Six hundred minutes
How do you measure the life
Of a woman or a man?

COLLINS
In truths that she learned,
Or in times that he cried.
In bridges he burned,
Or the way that she died.

ALL
It's time now to sing out,
Tho' the story never ends
Let's celebrate
Remember a year in the life of friends
Remember the love!
Remember the love!
Seasons of love!

JOANNE (while ALL sing)
Oh you got to got to
Remember the love!
You know that love is a gift from up above
Share love, give love spread love
Measure measure your life in love.

Curve Balls

2007-08-09T21:36:00.000+10:00

Ha. I've always wondered what being thrown a curve ball was about. Still don't quite know but i reckon it's what's been thrown at me for the last 8months. The latest is Shaz is moving out, on Saturday (today's Friday in case you can't tell). So i'm looking for somewhere to live.

Work is going well, i'm really enjoying it, and getting more comfortable dealing with customers. Just have to figure out how i speak to certain people appropriately, but i'll sort that out.

Not sure what else to say. Life goes on. I'm enjoying it in general, back at uni, dating, spending time with friends. Finally catching up with people.

Anyway, i'm on face book and myspace now which is keeping me busy when i am online. how pathetic. Anyway, check them out if you can be bothered!

Talk to you soon.

Big Girls Don't Cry

2007-07-04T11:27:00.000+10:00

Dunno what it is about this song, but i love it. I think of so many different people at different times through out it. And each time I hear it almost brings me to tears! (Ironic).

Da Da Da Da
The smell of your skin lingers on me now
Your probably on your flight back to your home town
I need some shelter of my own protection baby
To be with myself instead of calamity
Peace, Serenity

[CHORUS]
I hope you know,
I hope you know
That this has nothing to do with you
It's personal, Myself and I
We've got some straightenin' out to do
And I'm gonna miss you like a child misses their blanket
But Ive got to get a move on with my life
Its time to be a big girl now
And big girls don't cry
Don't cry
Don't cry
Don't cry

The path that I'm walking
I must go alone
I must take the baby steps until I'm full grown
Fairytales don't always have a happy ending, do they
And I foresee the dark ahead if I stay

[CHORUS]
I hope you know,
I hope you know
That this has nothing to with you
It's personal, Myself and I
We've got some straightenin' out to do
And I'm gonna miss you like a child misses their blanket
But I've got to get a move on with my life
Its time to be a big girl now
And big girls don't cry

Like the little school mate in the school yard
We'll play jacks and uno cards
Ill be your best friend and you'll be mine
Valentine
Yes you can hold my hand if u want to
Cause I want to hold yours too
Well be playmates and lovers and share our secret worlds
But its time for me to go home
Its getting late, dark outside
I need to be with myself instead of calamity
Peace, Serenity

[CHORUS]
I hope you know,
I hope you know
That this has nothing to do with you
It's personal, Myself and I
We've got some straightenin' out to do
And I'm gonna miss you like a child misses their blanket
But I've got to get a move on with my life
Its time to be a big girl now
And big girls don't cry
Don't cry
Don't cry
Don't cry
La Da Da Da Da Da

Life goes on

2007-06-20T20:46:00.000+10:00

No brilliant quotes today... been trying to think of something, but just nothing to say. Finished my exam on Friday! Yay, another semester over, 1 year to go... I went to NZ (Auckland) the last two days. Got business class on the way back. Was very cool! Might try uploading some photos tomorrow, will see how i go! I ate a mussel (yuck) and crossed the Auckland bridge (across the top!) very thrilling (especially for someone scared of heights!).

Back to work now. I'm really tired. Need something exciting to happen. Oh, i Lionel Richie is coming to Melbourne, late in the year! I'm so excited... "Say you, say me, say it together... naturally"

Quote of yesterday

2007-06-14T12:04:00.000+10:00

I wanted to upload this yesterday but didn't get a chance... So here's the quote for yesterday, thank to Nelly Furtado, with the help of Lucas (a friend).

*Flames to dust, Lovers to friends... why do all good things come to an end?

Quotes of the day

2007-06-11T17:00:00.000+10:00

3 quotes (song lyrics) that i've heard in the last 24 hours that I like...

* I'd rather be alone than unhappy

* You have to have been through a test to have a testimony

* You have to have been a mess to have a message

There was more but I can't remember them!!! Hoping to get a CD of the sermon which the last two were from... it was good.

I am still alive

2007-06-11T10:28:00.000+10:00

Hi!!! Just thought i'd let you know that I am still alive... I really suck at this. I have so many thoughts (which of course I think are amazing) and things to tell but I never sit down in front of my computer and write them out! I'm sorry. If anyone still does bother reading this, thanks for your patience.

I had a bit of a realisation last night, which is going to sound silly but for me it was a big stepping stone... Since December I have been under spiritual attack. Its been pretty full on and I haven't coped very well. My realisation was firstly that I have been under spiritual attack, and secondly that despite my feelings of God abandoning me God really was with me. Problem was I was so caught up in handling stuff that I didn't see Him right behind me. As it says in Psalm 23:6 - Surely goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life... He was following me, because He is goodness and love! It sounds kinda silly, or possibly simple, but when you are so caught up in these things you don't see it. And then you just get even more caught up! Now is the challenge of making it all better! With God's help of course.

Anyway, other stuff... I love my job still, it has its annoyances but in general I love it. The training was great, the trainer was really good i got along with her well, and there were a few ppl in the class I got along with as well, nothing as bad as I expected... I've been to a training breakfast and dinner as well and have fit in reasonably well. I have one in July for PNG, i'm so excited about it. If you haven't checked it out yet I recommend you go to Brown's website - there's a link on this page, it has a clip from U-Tube for Ukarumpa. It gave me goose pimples watching it... that place is so special, and somewhere that despite everything I'll still feel like it's home.

The last two days I have been on a motorbike training course. I now have my motorbike/scooter license, which is exciting. I'll start riding the scooter at work tomorrow. Eeek! Hopefully I'll get more confident really quickly! The idea of traffic scares me!

This Friday I have my final exam for the semester, which I really should be studying for now. And then next week I'm off to Auckland for two days (one night) as a training thing. We are flying Emirates and doing some fun stuff over there as well as doing our own thing a little... It's a quick visit but I'm excited, I've wanted to go to NZ for ages!

So that's my life. I am going to get better. I have to get better, otherwise I should give up altogether...

All a bit strange...

2007-04-29T22:53:00.000+10:00

I really should be going to bed now. I have training in the city for the new job i started last week. At a travel agency. I feel like one of THOSE people, this being the third job i've had this year, and its only April. But i plan on being at this one for a while (and i was on the first one this year for 5.5 years), thus for the next three days i'm going to sit through boring training (some may be interesting) and speed ahead through the work while others who have very little clue about computers and can't grasp the concept of - if you stuff it up it can be fixed - it may sound a little concepted of me but i've sat through enough of these types of training sessions to know what they are like. I don't see myself as a travel agent type, which is kinda making me uncomfortable with being in a room of people for three days who are all that type. I'll have to give you an update tomorrow night, once i know what its like.

Uni for the year is coming to a close. 2 HUGE assignments to submit in the next two weeks, then a test, then revision for the exam, which are over 2 weeks apart, some people might appreciate that amount of time, i don't, i want to get them over and done with!

It's kinda funny, i started this blog so i could be honest, with someone (something). I live my life only telling people a small part of who i am. Few (if any) people really know me. And if i continue on the path i'm on (and have been on for many years) then no one ever will. I've always had an excuse for being the way i am - i've changed schools many times, moved to PNG, moved back from PNG, and then was a leader at church (so needed to be their strength, and not show my own weakness). Now i'm nothing. I have few close friends (which I don't see as a bad thing at all - every friendship has a course to be run, i'm not a big fan of keeping people around just so i can say i have lots of friends) and no church home. I really have no excuse for not being honest. Now I think i'm just scared that people will see the real me, the one that i've kept hidden for so many years. And if they did see the real me then they wouldn't want to know me. Or maybe its because for so many years i've been who everyone needed me to be 'a tower of strength' completely created by God's strength. Now i don't have God's strength, and little of my own I don't want to admit to people my weakness, or even moreso, don't want to bother people with the goings on of my life because i understand how much others have going on in there's. Coming back to my point, i created this blog so hopefully i could break down some of the walls i had put up, be honest and open. But instead as i find out more people know about it and read it i'm scared of what i right... my blog is no longer faceless or nameless... i know you are there, and sometimes (i'm sorry for saying this) i wish you weren't...

The best sound ever...

2007-04-21T16:23:00.000+10:00

I love my music (in itunes), I love listening to a solo clarinet or one doing a solo part in a bigger group, I love the sound of oboes and violins, I love the sound of my nieces and nephews laughing and giggling, I love the sound of some of my closest friends voices when I haven't spoken to them in ages, I love the sound of people speaking pigin, and I love silence - when you literally can not hear a noise. But the best sound ever has to be the sound of rain. I was watching a movie earlier, and I heard this wierd noise outside, something i hadn't heard in a long time, it sounded like something was gently hitting the roof and the concrete out the back. I didn't dare dream that it could be the one thing that I have been hoping for so much. Then when the movie was over and after the sound had come and gone a few times I stepped outside and there it was, joy oh joy, seriously, this was bliss for me! RAIN! It is magnificent. Since I have been able to hear it ongoing light fall for the last couple of hours and each time I listen for it I get excited again. If I weren't having a brilliant hair day (my hair didn't kink over last night at all! after my crappy straightening effort yesterday) then I would be out there standing in it soaking it up.

it's not just all the talk of the major drought we are in, but it's the fact that it's constantly dry... Having lived in Melbourne i'm so used to 4 seasons in one day, but that hasn't happened, i check the weather report regularly out of hope that it will say rain, and often it does so I dress a little warmer and am so disappointed when i step outside and am flooded by the light and warmth of the sun beating down on us... again.

I want to record the sound of the rain, maybe even bottle some of it, so when i start getting depressed about not having any i can make myself feel alot better.

It's quite a strange difference to reading Brown's blog and hearing about how much she wants to the snow and slush to go away... how i crave for that!

One Voice

2007-04-18T22:55:00.000+10:00

I know it's been ages since i've written, i'll catch up soon i promise... maybe even this weekend! Have lots of news. Anyway, i downloaded some music a couple weeks ago (legally) and one of the songs is one i heard years ago on Oprah, i bought the CD in the states but it was stolen out of my car (feel kinda sorry for the kid that stole it) anyway, i listened to this song tonight for the first time in about 5 years and fell in love again so thought i'd give you the lyrics... here they are, it's One Voice by Billy Gillman:

Some kids have and some don't
And some of us are wondering why
Mom won't watch the news at night
There's too much stuff that's making her cry

We need some help
Down here on earth
A thousand prayers, a million words
But one voice was heard

A house, a yard, a neighborhood
Where you can ride your new bike to school
A kind of world where Mom and dad
Still believe in the golden rule

Life's not that simple
Down here on earth
A thousand prayers, a million words
But one voice was heard

One voice, one simple word
Hearts know what to say
One dream can change the world
Keep believing
Till you find a way

Yesterday while walking home
I saw some kid on newberry road
He pulled a pistol from his bag
And tossed it in the river below
Thanks for the help
Down here on earth
A thousand prayers, a million words
But one voice was heard
One voice was heard
One voice was heard

Makes me remember that my prayers are heard and those of the people praying for me...

Different interpretations...

2007-03-18T17:52:00.000+11:00

I have just been given another way of reading this. I like it too so thought I'd give it to you guys, not sure why I didn't read it this way, or if I did why I went with my way! It probably makes more sense, so thanks Manda!

May God grant to the living: Grace.
To the departed, Rest.
To the Church & the world, Peace and Concord .
And to us sinners - Eternal Life.

Westminster side entrance

2007-03-14T22:31:00.000+11:00

Saw this on my phone last night, decided i had to blog it!

May God grant to the living:

Grace to the departed,

Rest to the Church & the world,

Peace and Concord

and to us sinners - Eternal Life.

I suck!

2007-03-12T21:59:00.000+11:00

I just wanted to let you all know that i suck! It's been almost a month since i last wrote and some HUGE events have happened in my life in that time. I'm sorry! So here's the quick run down...

I resigned from my job and on Feb 16th left. I started there in 2000, was made redundant in 2002, started back there 2003 so been there pretty much 5 and a half years! It's a long time for someone my age... It was hard, and i'm still not sure i made the right decision but i don't regret leaving... The best part of leaving was on the Friday night a few of us from the office went out for a few drinks. My boss and the other girl in my department stayed out till 12.30. It was my biggest drinking experience ever, and yet i wasn't drunk (if i had started to feel that way i would have stopped!).. It was a great night. I love those guys heaps!

I started a new job on the 19th, it's not what i expected, and i'm not sure how long i'll stay, but i need money so i'll be there till i can afford to leave (have some big bills coming up!).

I've continued to find out who my true friends are, as altho that has included loosing/giving up on friends it's also meant i feel alot closer to the real ones. It's been a heartbreaking experience but for the better i know.

I've visited two churches in the last four weeks (i'm slack i know!). They were good, but not places i'd stay at...

Whatelse... our Easter Sydney trip has been cancelled, alongwith our housewarming. Altho the housewarming is only a postponement for now...

Oh, i've done lots of work in the back yard, it looks awesome now. I wish i had taken before and after photos. Anyway, trust me it was a lot of work and it looks great now! :) Even if i do say so myself.

I think that's all. Things with Shaz are going well. Uni has started again, and it's looking stressful but i'm not caring yet! Probably should be. Assessments are two weeks away! eeek.

Ok. better go. Thanks for reading. Will write soon - i promise!

Maya Angelou on Oprah…

2007-02-15T10:05:00.000+11:00

I saw this episode and I was really touched by it. I just got this email so thought I’d pass it on…

Oprah asked Maya what she thought of growing old - she said it was "exciting." Regarding body changes she said there were many, occurring every day...like her breasts.They seem to be in a race to see which will reach her waist, first. The audience laughed so hard they cried. She is such a simple and honest woman, with so much wisdom in her words!

Maya Angelou went on to say:

I’ve learned…

…that no matter what happens, or how bad it seems today, life does go on, and it will be better tomorrow
…that you can tell a lot about a person by the way he/she handles these three things: a rainy day, lost luggage, and tangled Christmas tree lights
…that regardless of your relationship with your parents, you'll miss them when they're gone from your life
…that making a "living" is not the same thing as "making a life”
…that life sometimes gives you a second chance
…that you shouldn't go through life with a catcher's mitt on both hands; you need to be able to throw some things back
…that whenever I decide something with an open heart, I usually make the right decision
…that every day you should reach out and touch someone
…People love a warm hug, or just a friendly pat on the back
…that I still have a lot to learn
…that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel

(I did a bit of formatting just to make it a little easier to read)

When I say... "I'm a Christian"

2007-02-08T11:13:00.000+11:00

When I say... "I am a Christian"
I'm not shouting "I'm clean livin'." I'm whispering "I was lost, now I'm found and forgiven."

When I say... "I am a Christian"
I don't speak of this with pride. I'm confessing that I stumble and need Christ to be my guide.

When I say... "I am a Christian"
I'm not trying to be strong. I'm professing that I'm weak and need His strength to carry on!

When I say... "I am a Christian"
I'm not bragging of success. I'm admitting I have failed and need God to clean my mess.

When I say... "I am a Christian"
I'm not claiming to be perfect, my flaws are far too visible but, God believes I am worth it.

When I say... "I am a Christian"
I still feel the sting of pain. I have my share of heartaches so I call upon His name.

When I say... "I am a Christian"
I'm not holier than thou; I'm just a simple sinner who received God's good grace, somehow.

The perfect lunch break

2007-02-06T08:08:00.001+11:00

12.15 – leave work

12.25 – arrive home, put away stuff from last night, put on load of washing, heat lunch

12.30 – take seat in front of TV, turn on episode of All Saints

12.40 – get lunch from microwave and Coke zero from fridge, return to seat

1.15 – All Saints finishes, put dishes in sink (rinse), hang washing

1.20 – leave home

1.30 – arrive work – no one cares that your hour lunch break was a little long

(after work washing is dry!)

I only have a max of 9 more chances to do this for a while.

Slow Down Culture

2007-02-04T21:34:00.000+11:00

I received this from my accountant at work last week. I thought it was interesting, so thought i'd pass it on.

An interesting reflection : Slow Down Culture It's been 18 years since I joined Volvo, a Swedish company. Working for them has proven to be an interesting experience. Any project here takes 2 years to be finalized, even if the idea is simple and brilliant. It's a rule.

Globalize processes have caused in us (all over the world) a general sense of searching for immediate results. Therefore, we have come to posses a need to see immediate results. This contrasts greatly with the slow movements of the Swedish. They, on the other hand, debate, debate, debate, hold x quantity of meetings and work with a slowdown scheme. At the end, this always yields better results.

Said in another words:
1. Sweden is about the size of San Pablo, a state in Brazil.
2. Sweden has 2 million inhabitants.
3. Stockholm, has 500,000 people.
4. Volvo, Escania, Ericsson, Electrolux, Nokia are some of its renowned companies. Volvo supplies the NASA.

The first time I was in Sweden, one of my colleagues picked me up at the hotel every morning. It was September, bit cold and snowy. We would arrive early at the company and he would park far away from the entrance (2000 employees drive their car to work). The first day, I didn't say anything, either the second or third. One morning I asked, "Do you have a fixed parking space? I've noticed we park far from the entrance even when there are no other cars in the lot." To which he replied, "Since we're here early we'll have time to walk, and whoever gets in late will be late and need a place closer to the door. Don't you think? Imagine my face.

Nowadays, there's a movement in Europe name Slow Food. This movement establishes that people should eat and drink slowly, with enough time to taste their food, spend time with the family, friends, without rushing. Slow Food is against its counterpart: the spirit of Fast Food and what it stands for as a lifestyle. Slow Food is the basis for a bigger movement called Slow Europe, as mentioned by Business Week.

Basically, the movement questions the sense of "hurry" and "craziness" generated by globalization, fueled by the desire of "having in quantity" (life status) versus "having with quality", "life quality" or the "quality of being". French people, even though they work 35 hours per week, are more productive than Americans or British. Germans have established 28.8 hour workweeks and have seen their productivity been driven up by 20%. This slow attitude has brought forth the US's attention, pupils of the fast and the "do it now!".

This no-rush attitude doesn't represent doing less or having a lower productivity. It means working and doing things with greater quality, productivity, perfection, with attention to detail and less stress. It means reestablishing family values, friends, free and leisure time. Taking the "now", present and concrete, versus the "global", undefined and anonymous. It means taking humans' essential values, the simplicity of living.

It stands for a less coercive work environment, more happy, lighter and more productive where humans enjoy doing what they know best how to do. It's time to stop and think on how companies need to develop serious quality with no-rush that will increase productivity and the quality of products and services, without losing the essence of spirit.

In the movie, Scent of a Woman, there's a scene where Al Pacino asks a girl to dance and she replies, "I can't, my boyfriend will be here any minute now". To which Al responds, "A life is lived in an instant". Then they dance to a tango.

Many of us live our lives running behind time, but we only reach it when we die of a heart attack or in a car accident rushing to be on time. Others are so anxious of living the future that they forget to live the present, which is the only time that truly exists. We all have equal time throughout the world. No one has more or less. The difference lies in how each one of us does with our time. We need to live each moment. As John Lennon said, "Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans".

Congratulations for reading till the end of this message. There are many who will have stopped in the middle so as not to waste time in this globalized world.

Third day

2007-01-25T21:13:00.000+11:00

Last night i went to see third day live in concert. They rocked. I wasn't as into it this time as i was last time (in 04) but they still rocked. I really enjoyed it. My ear 24hrs later is still ringing and kinda blocked! Anyway, Rog has uploaded his photos so here's the link if you wanna see.

http://picasaweb.google.com/theartfulone/ThirdDayConcert

And here's my fav photo from the night. The bass guitartist is very good looking... most likely married, but very good looking nonetheless. He's the one in the middle!

Here he is

2007-01-24T12:21:00.000+11:00

Just got the photo of Carter Thomas so thought i'd post it. I have an issue... it's not been said that it was a boy i just assumed that Carter Thomas WAS a boys name. In one of the photos i received it is wearing a pink cap so i'm confused. Either the name is meant to be a girls name or they just put a pink cap on it (it was a 'just come to the world' photo so could happen)... I said something about it but i'm embarrassed...

4 in a month (and a bit)

2007-01-24T10:12:00.000+11:00

I knew there were going to be lots of babies born in a reasonably short period of time but I didn’t expect 4 of the same sex in just over a month…

14/12/06 – Donna (my beauty therapist and neighbour) and John had a boy Jaiden James. I guessed that one right… (was due 24th Dec)

30/12/07 – Shelly (colleague/friend) and Dan had Jayden Neil. I guessed a boy. Photo below.

2/01/07 - Jeremiah Coby Price born to Ash (my ‘ex’ youth pastor) and Kate. I guessed a girl. (was due 14th Jan or around then). Photo below.

23/01/07 – Carter Thomas Ford (it sounds American doesn’t it!) born to Dustin (Customer/Supplier/Friend) and Ivy in HK (they are Texan…). No photos of this one yet! Was due 7th Feb. I guessed a girl.

AND there was another boy born to a colleague (that I don’t know very well) on Friday (19th).

Next up I believe is Jackie… Luckily she’s about 10wks off… so I get a break from baby shopping. And I’m guessing a boy for her… So far!

It’s kinda amazing to think not only have 4 (plus the rest I don’t know of) babies been born but the lives of so many ppl have been changed by their births and God has a plan and purpose for each one of these treasures…

What's in a name?

2007-01-12T10:17:00.000+11:00

Have to make a small correction from yesterday, Emily Brown is now Emily Salonen (nee Brown). It's a natural reaction thing but i didn't want to offend Emily or Marko (her husband). Considering in highschool my nickname (by 99% of the class/school/community) was Scoble or a derivative (coz there was two Emily's) so i called her Brown (she was the only person i think i called by there last name, oh except Karch coz there were two Rachels) anyway, am i still allowed to call her brown now that she's married? She's still a Brown by blood... just not by marriage... hmmm. I don't want to loose my 'Scobleness' when i get married... that'd be like loosing my dad and my connection to him... but i'm sure not everyone feels like that! It's kinda interesting... How do you answer that? Who can answer that? Every person would be different...

Irony

2007-01-11T17:18:00.000+11:00

I got the below post by email just before, and it just seemed so ironic after my earlier blog about feeling lost. It doesn't explain everything i feel but it says a lot.

Anyway, then i thought of this quote from Reality Bites (the movie) Emily Brown and I loved the quote. It is:

What's the definition of ironic anyway?

Its when the actual meaning is the complete opposite from the literal meaning.

Anyway, the connection is that the email was ironic- just incase you didn't get that! :)

God Said No

2007-01-11T17:17:00.000+11:00

I asked God to take away my habit.
God said, No.
It is not for me to take away, but for you to give it up.

I asked God to make my friends handicapped child whole.
God said, No.
His spirit is whole, his body is only temporary

I asked God to grant me patience.
God said, No.
Patience is a byproduct of tribulations; It isn't granted, it is learned.

I asked God to give me happiness.
God said, No.
I give you blessings; Happiness is up to you.

I asked God to spare me pain.
God said, No.
Suffering draws you apart from worldly cares; And brings you closer to me.

I asked God to make my spirit grow.
God said, No.
You must grow on your own! But I will prune you to make you fruitful.

I asked God for all things that I might enjoy life.
God said, No.
I will give you life, so that you may enjoy all things.

I asked God to help me LOVE others, as much as He loves me.
God said.. Ahhhh, finally you have the idea.

THIS DAY IS YOURS DON'T THROW IT AWAY

"To the world you might be one person, but to one person you just might be the world"

"May the Lord Bless you and keep you,May the Lord Make his face shine upon you,And give you Peace..."

"Good friends are like stars.. You don't always see them, but you know they are always there”

Be warned - i'm lost

2007-01-11T14:32:00.000+11:00

Why is it that no one seems to believe me when I say that i’ve got very little faith left, and when I am honest with them and tell them that I feel abandoned by God. Why do they continually come back and say ‘pray about it’ or ‘you know God hasn’t abandoned you’ or ‘maybe this is an opportunity to come closer to God’. Bullshit. I can’t pray about it. I know God won’t abandon me but it feels like he has… it’s the difference between knowing and feeling. How can I come closer to someone I can barely feel, imagine, speak to… I don’t know who God is anymore or how to have Him be apart of my life… how then do I grow closer to Him. One friend appreciated my honesty when I told them that all I had left was faith the God exists and He sent Jesus to die on the cross for me. I believe it but that’s all there is. It’s an empty faith.

After years of loving, supporting, strengthening, praying for ppl all they can offer me now is a ‘get over it’ or disbelief that I (Emily Scoble) could be this way… it sucks. Thru leaving the church I have lost my home, my family, my faith in people and my relationship with God. And yet the Bible says that God will leave the 99 to find me (the lost), if that’s true, and God hasn’t abandoned me and is looking for me, then where the heck is He?

Books and stuff

2007-01-11T11:37:00.000+11:00

I’ve been trying to think of something interesting to say, but I can’t think of anything. How sad. I took some photos last night that I want to upload. But I haven’t had a chance to download them yet so can’t upload them! Was going to tell you the update on what I’ve been reading but I’ve forgotten what book I read between the cross and the switchblade and Kokoda…

I’ll remember when I get home… Anyway, I read ‘he’s just not that into you’, oh I just remembered I read the 5 love languages, which I think I’ve mentioned previously.

Anyway back to ‘he’s just not that into you’ I read that in 1 day during my holidays, I think every female on this planet should read it. It’s great. It didn’t relate to any of my current circumstances but I could relate to previous experiences and expect it to help in the future.

Now I’m reading ‘To kill a mockingbird’. I didn’t have to read it in school so thought I’d read it now for the enjoyment of it.
So that’s about it. That’s my update for the day. Nothing else exciting going on. Work. Finished summer school, have my exam next Friday. Mum’s moving out next Friday. Going out for dinner with Shaz on Friday night (this Friday). And going to planet shakers church this Sunday. There’s a good speaker on there this week so I’m excited…

Not such an independant woman!

2007-01-08T12:12:00.001+11:00

I had a bad spider incident last week. It was HORRIBLE. I’m ok around daddy long legs and baby spiders, we get a log of the DLL’s and I cope with them, they don’t seem as scarey. So if they are not in my way (I had one in the shower this morning he didn’t survive!) then I let them live. Anyway, I was in bed last Thursday night, mum was down the island, I’d been at work til 9 so got home made an easy dinner and ate it in bed watching Oprah and Seventh Heaven that I taped that day. Was just starting to relax knowing there was only 15mins left of Oprah before I could fall asleep when all of a sudden a spider – huntsman about 6cm across (incl legs) – crawled out from behind my curtains. It was headed for the vent and who knows what else in the corner above my tall boy (where my clothes are). So I closed the drawers – tight. Then got the spray (v. quickly incase it disappeared) and sprayed until I was about to have an asthma attack. I waited but it started running again, so I sprayed again this happened a few times before it got behind the top of my curtain again and all I could see was the end of it’s legs over the top, it ventured over my side and I sprayed, I swear it was completely covered in spray – it was a weird grey colour. Anyway, silly thing went back behind the curtains and I could no longer see it. I shook the curtains and tried pulling them open a bit but couldn’t see it – I wasn’t willing to venture too far into the curtains – didn’t want to risk it falling on me. Anyway, I decided I couldn’t stay in my room until I knew it was gone/dead. So I picked up my pillow and ventured into mum’s room and slept in her bed – looking at every wall between our rooms – just incase there was another. I slept ok and the next night (mum was home this time) I checked for it again and I found it’s carcass. I felt kinda bad for it. But I can’t handle them… So from this experience I’ve decided that I need a man, or at least someone with enough balls to kill them or get rid of them for me. I’m happy for them not to be killed and to be just put outside but I ain’t gonna risk it! I can’t even bring myself to squash them! So I’m not as independent as I think I am.

The worst bit is I actually have one of those devices in my room that is meant to give a high pitched noise or something that scares them away… waste of money that was!

When I told mum she was impressed – she felt needed! **smiley**

Anyway, this was a horrible experience and I feel nauseous repeating it so I’m going to shut up!

WHP

2007-01-03T15:52:00.000+11:00

Ok, finally I’m writing again. Sorry it’s taken so long. I keep thinking of things to write but it’s completely at the wrong time and then when I’m at my desk here at work or at home I completely forget what I was going to write about or it just doesn’t sound as good as it is meant to. Anyway, I have lots I could write about, but I want to bring ‘everyones’ attention to WHP (White Hat People). I’m a HUGE postsecret fan. Every Monday morning I will check the latest update and I’m trying to get a copy of the books they have released also. For those of you who haven’t heard of it check it out – the link is under my ‘links’. From that there is a new blog called White Hat People. It’s really interesting, the link is below and I really think you should all check it out if you haven’t already. I’m trying to organise with a friend who’s into both PS & WHP to go to the movies. I emailed him yesterday about the possibility of going last night and he called me back later saying a group of people were going to see A night in a museum or whatever. Anyway, I said no, I feel kinda guilty saying no to ppl when they invite me to stuff, but I had good reason – I think. Here’s the three reasons I decided on –

1. It doesn’t really sound like my kinda movie, originally I thought it was an action one then I remembered it had Ben Stiller in it and I just don’t have his humour… I don’t think I’ve ever seen a movie of his that I’ve enjoyed…
2. After not hearing back from Ben during the day I had resigned myself to finishing my book – Kokoda – which I’ve been reading for a couple months now. I got it finished just before 11pm. It was an ok book (v interesting to learn some history) just very slow!
3. I’m not a big movie person, I’d rather spend the money and buy the DVD, but because of WHP I’d decided I would go sometime – thus I’d emailed Ben about going – but when I found out there was a group of ppl going it sorted defeated the purpose of WHP. I think anyway. Also, there was a person going that I’d REALLY rather not see. I don’t want to sound pathetic (too late?) but I’ve learnt how unimportant my friendship is to this person except when it suits them and I’m just not into that. Don’t have the energy for that kinda person. That’s one thing PNG taught me – not to bother with ppl unless they make the effort with me. There’s plenty more ppl out there who’d love to have me as a friend (not wanting to sound conceited but there is!)

My not going to the movies in the end made me want to go even more. I felt really alone last night. I’ve spent a lot of time at home lately doing stuff around the house and only accepting invitations when I wasn’t going to have to speak to ppl and every detail of the invitation suited me. So now I’m ostracising myself. Which is fine. Whatever. But for the last few years I’ve been keeping all these ppl outside the church at arms length coz I didn’t want them to have expectations of me which I’d disappoint, but now half of them are overseas. And those I have been close to during that time either I don’t want to deal with (refer above) or I don’t get a chance to see because I’m too picky with the invitations I accept. So I feel alone but I’m making myself be alone – does that make the loneliness any less real? It didn’t last night that’s for sure. So in the end I wished I had gone to the movie, taken my white hat and probably not enjoyed the movie but at least I’d would have felt a part of something – the WHP not the ppl I was there with…

http://thewhitehatpeople.blogspot.com/

I'm not needed!!!

2006-11-27T10:34:00.001+11:00

I’ve been thrown for 6 this morning… I had a late night last night which doesn’t help (man am I tired). And then this morning my youth pastor Ash told me he thinks I should leave in a few weeks. Altho I gave him the option – between me leaving in December and leaving in mid March I’m shocked/scared because he said December which means within weeks I’ll no longer have a church family, and no longer have that security… why was I ok about it until now?

There’s other stuff going on behind the scenes, which I don’t feel right writing about here. But I’m just completely stuffed now. My brain doesn’t want to function. It’s like he’s hurt me by doing what I wanted!?! Maybe I thought I was irreplaceable, indispensable, or needed or something… Guess I’m not as good as I thought I was!

I don't like this!

2006-11-24T09:22:00.000+11:00

Aaaaahhhhh I hate this. I spend 5-10 minutes writing a blog and a good half an hour trying to get it to update. I dunno what i've done wrong previously that means they won't update but they won't and i'm frustrated... I've done everything blogger has told me to to fix the problem and emailed them. It eventually worked after i emailed them but now it's stuffing up again... it's not fair! Is it a sign that i'm not meant to have a blog?

Amanda's trip to work...

2006-11-24T09:20:00.001+11:00

A story a friend wrote about her experience getting to work on Monday (she works in the city) when the trains weren’t working I thought it was very well written and kinda funny:

When you see more people streaming OUT of Box Hill Station than streaming IN at 7:30 in the morning, you know something is wrong.

And it is there that I am greeted with the lovely news,

"Due to a points failure at Camberwell, it is impossible for city-bound trains to depart from Box Hill. Please make your way to the tram depot on Whitehorse Rd. Trams leave every 10 minutes. Connex apologises for any inconvenience caused."

And so I join the multitude of buoyant Connex customers making their way to the Box Hill tram depot. We all secure a spot to stand on the tram, and immediately become quite familiar with one another. The first thing I notice is the heat. There's nothing like a few fellow passengers snuggled up to help you feel warm. Lucky it was still early morning on a 36 degree day.

Eventually we begin our journey, and thus start the phone calls;

"Hi Chase, it's Stace. Could you please print those documents emailed by Trace and add them to the folder on my desk? I'll have to meet you there, the trains are having problems."

"Hi, I'm on a tram in Kew because the trains aren't working. It's very slow in this traffic. I'll see you in a few hours."

And then there's the Asian lady. Imagine the accent...
"This is very slow." Yes - thanks for stating the obvious. Again.
"Do you think we can go down at Camberwell and catch an express train from there? They said change at Camberwell in the announcement". Now where might those "express trains" be coming from at Camberwell? You might have better luck sticking to the tram.
To the many passengers attempting to board the tram a short way into our trip she says, "No we can't fit any more. It's very squashy."
Twenty minutes later, about 10 minutes after Camberwell...
"This is very slow." Uhuh...
"Maybe I can change at Camberwell." Hmmm.

Every few minutes or so, the European man will say something. No, there's no earpiece attached. Is anyone listening?

And then there are the silent farts. My goodness there are some rippers! A look of disgust on the blonde lady's face...no more need be said.

As we enter the CBD, we approach the first tram stop on Collins St, accompanied by a mass of people wishing to board our already full tram. The Connex official does his best to help the situation. A Greek man - imagine a big thick Greek accent...
"Everyone move into the tram. Move down, don't stand near the door. Can you see how many people need to get on?"
He receives blank stares in return. Where exactly should we move? We're already sardined in - would you like us to sit on top of one another. Or on the roof?
"Ah, nobody understand what I say."
"Nobody cares what you said," responds one fed up passenger.

Eventually we reach King St...

And here I am at work, having arrived only an hour later than planned, but having enjoyed a morning full of the quirks of life :-)

Mud...

2006-11-23T17:54:00.000+11:00

I went to Kmart last night, not a big surprise, I love shopping there, can always get a bargain… last night I went for something for my car and ended up with that plus a DVD, and that was after telling myself no to about 10 other things! I’m pathetic. Anyway, so I walk outside to my car and look and there’s a row of cars that have a layer of mud over them. It’s as though they had been bush bashing for the weekend and then it rained a little – only enough to clump the mud together, not actually wash it off. My car too had the layer of mud but as I have a wagon the rear window had a space where the windscreen wiper had smudged the mud in an attempt at removing it. As you drive around the area nearly every car looks the same, those that don’t you make the assumption they weren’t doing overtime on Tuesday night so there cars were already parked in the garage at 5.15pm or they were and they have a carport at work… They could possibly have been in a different area but this isn’t as fun as the other options. So what happened? Well, after a REALLY nice weekend of weather in the high 20’s early 30’s (warm to hot) and then two days of 36 (HOT) the dust was in the air along with the smoke carried down by the winds from a fire a few hours out of the city and all of that led to the pidly amount of rain that fell on Tuesday coming down more as if God were cleaning the garden path after a mudslide rather than he’d turned on the tap… And 90% of the eastern suburbs of Melbourne have brown cars. This number seems to be decreasing as more ppl take their car to the car wash – as I did last night coz I just couldn’t handle it!!! That and there was a mother of a moth stuck in the grill with it’s wings entangled and head sticking out. I didn’t want to touch it so I needed a high power hose to remove it! I didn’t do a great job but it was a start and it definitely looks better. I have to say that despite the crappy rain I love Melbourne’s weather. After the attempt at a shower was over I went to a friends house ‘for dinner and a beer’. Well dinner never ended up happening as time got away from us and a beer turned into 4 before I realised the time and that I’d be over the legal limit for another hour or two and that’s even if I did stop then. I arrived to him working in his garden so took up a seat on his steps (a big mistake – but I didn’t realise I’d be sitting there for 3hrs). And after he’d finished the garden stuff we sat in his back yard talking until Midnight… Just to clarify before anyone gets the wrong idea this guy is the ex of a good friend so there’s none of that business going on! Just want to be clear on that. That is what I love about Melbourne and about summer in general. You can have some crappy, random weather but you can also have some awesome weather. I’m looking forward to the rest of summer now hoping there’s going to be more of the same. I can handle washing my car regularly if there’s beer as a reward! :)

From Monday (06/11/06):

2006-11-10T09:07:00.000+11:00

I’m in a bit of a weird mood today. When did it start??? Hmmm… the mood itself only started this morning, probably not long after I got into work. I can’t really explain what type of mood it is. I’m a little grumpy (work related), tired (was studying late last night), emotional (think mostly coz of Nai’s wedding on Monday) and just generally not feeling great mentally. Healthwise I feel fine…

I had a weird dream last night. I think I might have got a bit too friendly with a close friend of mine (who is male and gay) but then I’m not sure! I remember he was there and I know we were close, but I’m like that with all of those guys, just not sure if in the dream we crossed any lines of friendship… That’s just got me frustrated this morning. But at the same time I don’t want to know anything more… just in case!

I went to Nai’s wedding on Monday, she was beautiful! So were the bridesmaids. The day in general just went really well, normally after a wedding you have a few things you could say that didn’t go so well, but none of that really happened. I think the worst that happened was she was really nervous but she got over that reasonably quickly. Everyone seemed to have fun and it was just lovely… Renee was a great bride, when I spoke to her she was really relaxed in the days leading up and the bridesmaid’s said she was really relaxed when getting ready and stuff on the day. I got a bit emotional at one point during the ceremony, and then later on during the reception. I think it had a lot to do with being so happy for her/them, and also I realized for the first time just how much they loved each other. That sounds kinda silly but because of the relationship Nai and I have I knew of all the bad stuff (well a lot of it anyway) that happened between them, and sometimes I heard about the nice things they did and stuff but I had never seen them really in love. But on Monday, I could just tell, just by the little things they did. It was so nice, and it also made me a little jealous that she had found the love that’ll last a lifetime… and I’m still single (or should that be single again?)… But in no way does that jealousy or whatever it is outweigh my happiness for her… It’s kinda cool how we find out how others show love, I would have thought I’d be really frustrated if I were Nai at how he didn’t really show it, but he just didn’t show it the way I’d want him too, she’s secure in his love and that’s awesome…

photos...

2006-10-25T11:40:00.000+10:00

Here's the photos that are meant to go with the below blog. They weren't working and i didn't want to push my luck! I'm sure you can figure out where they belong.

Blood trail:

Blood on the back of my leg:

Our makeshift bandage:

A story of a foot (toe)... try again.

2006-10-17T15:08:00.000+10:00

This ones from 13/10/06:

Ok, finally I’m doing this. Here is my brief version of events that lead to my foot being hurt. It’s actually quite a long story if I tell it all (which I don’t). Point of the story is Carol, Karl & I (refer my photos for pictures) went to Cape Shank for the day, the plan was to go down the boardwalk onto the beach for a bit then back up and on an hour long bush walk to a different area of beach then have lunch in town and then go on a bush walk out to point nepean (depending how long that would take). Anyway, we had gone down the boardwalk (20minute walk maybe less) and went to the beach on the right we then climbed all over the rocks for quite a while. I scrapped my knee but nothing major. I love it, it was like adventures in PNG where we explored new and different things and didn’t really care… By this time we’d discussed the fact that I was due for a tetnus update, I had never been to hospital and Karl had said to Carol that if any of us was going to end up in hospital that day it was going to be me… I was enjoying the adventure. We kept going ‘a little bit further’ till we decided that the tide was coming in so if we didn’t go back soon we wouldn’t be able to get back… so we went back. Back up to the boardwalk then down the other side, this is more open, flat rock beach (as opposed to the other side which was a small rock beach and heaps of big rocks you have to climb over and around and heaps of little rock pools). Karl dared me to go out to a platform rock which was in a couple meters (my prize was a hug) coz I was in pants I dared him to (same prize) so we took off our shoes and started looking for an easy way across. I went in the water a little (walking on the bigger rocks (like 20cm across and up)), then I decided to go back up to the shore where carol was sitting on a reasonably big rock. On the way back the small rock under me slipped and my foot went into about 10cm deep water, I thought I’d just banged my little toe against the rock next to me (you know when you stub your little toe it REALLY hurts). Anyway, I kept going back to Carol at some point I turned around and found a trail of blood and a pool under my foot. This is part of it:
I took a seat and ended up getting blood on the back of my leg as well: After washing my foot and sock in the ocean we wrapped my sock around my toes held on by my hair tie then walked back up the boardwalk (probably took about 40 minutes this time) I had 2 mild asthma attacks (not good when you’ve got a walk ahead of you) and was feel rather nauseous most of the way – especially when K&C were talking about my toe falling off. Long story short – I’d cut basically half way around my little toe (from the outside of my foot to the inside) then, apparently, half way into my little toe (so Carol has told me). We went to the dr but they couldn’t see us for 3 hrs, so we went to the hospital where there was at least a 2hr wait so we decided to go for lunch (it didn’t hurt, the only time it’d hurt was when they washed it with clean water half way up) then we went back to near home and got 4 stitches put in – lots of local needed – 3 shots initially which wore off during the second stitch so then more shots. I was in hysterics during it, I felt like he was literally cutting the skin on my food… not a nice feeling… I screamed a few times and the door was open so everyone in the waiting room heard – hehe. The nurse was lovely and eventually put me on oxygen (I’m not good with pain coz I don’t hurt myself often!) which settled me down heaps – Carol (who was in the room with me) couldn’t believe how much I settled then. Anyway, so the stitches came out 2 weeks later (it didn’t heal well enough after one week) which was a few days ago. I almost kicked the nurse in the face when she was doing it… Anyway, so other than a bit of dead skin and the inability to bend my toe completely (which may heal) I am fine… but it was quite an adventure – just think – you are not allowed to get the bottom of your toe underneath wet, dirty, got to keep it raised and bandaged… not an easy task – remember it’s summer here now!!! Oh well. It’s all good, and the day ended up being one of the funest days I’ve had in a long time, thanks to Carol and Karl… they were very patient!!! And just fun despite what was happening. I had a really good, relaxing day, I’m looking forward to going back soon (and wearing shoes) and doing the bush walks we had planned…

I'm sorry!!! try again...

2006-10-17T15:06:00.000+10:00

I've been having problems with my blog for the last week or so. Here's my blog from 11/10/06:

Ok, so I’ve been really slack lately. I can’t believe it’s been nearly a month since I wrote. How sad. Ok, update on my life…
* Have two official weeks of uni left for the semester, am only going to one.
* Have two assignments due next week which I’m almost finished (Yay).
* On Sept 19th I cut my toe (sounds like nothing but it’s been a reasonably big deal) will do a separate blog solely for it and include photos.
* This Sat am organizing a trivia night for church – so far 130+ ppl coming
* Sunday night have to feed 120 ppl (with some help) for a communion meal for our pm church service
* I spoke to Emily in Finland last week, I tried to call Mikael coz I haven’t spoken to him for a while – and I’d sent Emily an email last week, but he didn’t answer so I called Emily…
* Things are going ahead with Shaz moving in which I’m really excited about
* I got 7 storage boxes back (they’ve been in mum’s storage shed) so I feel like it’s Christmas, finding all this stuff I’d forgotten I had.
* It’s 30days till my birthday
* Katie, yet another friend, leaves for England tomorrow, she used to be my mentor. So I’m now lacking a mentor – which is a scary thought for me coz for the last 2 or so years I’ve had a mentor…
* I found out my ‘love language’ is Quality time, which I find rather ironic considering my life is so busy that I never have time to spend with everyone
* I’m really into this love language thing, even though my love tank is not full I still want to fill other ppls, I just want to know what everyone’s is… And it’s not that easy to figure out…
* Sian is walking heaps now, she’s still a little unsteady. She has a really cheeky smile. I’ll update the fairy photos of her and Maia onto my albums in a minute
* Thomas, Elijah and Maia are all doing great. Maia had attitude last night but I think she was getting tired. She’s like her mum! J Thomas and Elijah, are both gorgeous, E is getting more used to me, Tommy still loves me – as always. Is that enough of an update? I hope so. I’m sure I have more to say (don’t I always) but this’ll do for now. I’ll give the info on the accident either later today or in the next

I'm going pink coz i'm being girly...

2006-09-15T17:39:00.000+10:00

What is it in a female that makes her want affection? Do men feel it too? It’s a subtle feeling. For me it’s odd, people I know can get it from friends, but that’s not enough for me. I know I’ve been down this track too many times, and it’s not a nice one to go down. But how do you stop yourself wanting affection? If you do find a way how do you turn it back on again? And when you do turn it back on again how do you stop yourself from wanting too much? I’m not quite sure if it’s just affection I want or attention or what… too confusing. But I know I’m missing affection – that’s the one thing I’ve figured out. And the ‘back ups’ I’ve had previously are no longer around so I think I have a lesson to learn to get me out of this situation…

Off the topic, I got an email yesterday confirming that Steve Irwin became a Christian a couple weeks before his death… My worship pastor apparently verified it, but I still am not 100% sure if it is. I guess I, along with many other Christians, would like to believe it is. And if it is, how much does it prove how awesome God’s timing is… even in the things we see as bad…

How morbid of me...

2006-09-12T17:36:00.001+10:00

I’m a bit spaced out today, partly coz I had a mid-sem test last night, and an assignment due this morning. Plus I slept in my nieces room last night and she’s learning how to wake up lots during the night. I’ll have to find a good photo of her and update my photos as well as put it on here. She is beautiful (as are all my nieces and nephews – but I’m biased!!!).

Anyway, it’s been a kinda weird week. I had a crazy week last week anyway (do I say that a lot?) it was really a crazy week. God blessed me on Wednesday night coz I trusted in Him – funny that. I won’t go thru details unless you really want to hear… I started getting sick by the end of the week, but luckily the cold and flu tablets I’m taking are working extremely well. The main thing that has been weird for me in the last week is death… Last Monday Steve Irwin died – like you don’t already know that, and although he made mistakes (don’t we all!!!) he was a nice guy, good for Australian tourism and just a good Aussie bloke (even if his accent was a little full on). Then Brocky died on Friday and although I think he’s a good guy I guess that wasn’t a big of a shock, or maybe it was coz it came in the wake of Steve Irwin’s death. I feel REALLY bad for Steve’s (hah, I’m acting like he was a personal friend!) kids, they were soooo young. And having lost my dad at a young age I guess I know what it’s like. The only thing I can say about both of their deaths is – at least they were doing what they loved. What an awesome way to go. And if we think of that in light of the 5th anniversary yesterday of September 11 (we say 11/9 so I can’t say 9/11 that’d be the day before my birthday!) then how tragic that those people died in such a way. If I had a choice to die doing what I do now or doing a job that I loved I know what I’d choose… so why do I still come into this office everyday? Coz I reckon this is where God wants me, but why does He want me here? I wish I knew. It’s not like I’m making a big difference in anyone’s life, except giving them more technology. Yesterday I got an email which as a few word summary said satan was the reason for technology – his attempt at keeping us away from God. Which in the context of the email made sense (it sounds a little dramatic put the way I put it). So am I doing more worse than good by completing my job? Ok, maybe that’s a little extreme. But if I had to die tomorrow, what would be my biggest disappointment??? Wasting 6yrs at a job I don’t have a passion for…

Romans 8:28

2006-09-04T14:24:00.000+10:00

"Yumi save, God I save mekim olgeta samting I wok wantaim long mekim gut long ol man I save givim bel bilong ol long God." Rom 8:28

"And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." Romans 8:28

(there’s a slight translation difference (as in bible translation not language translation) but it’s close enough). I have this up in my lounge room and thought of it randomly today… I think God was trying to tell me something…

Review of a week

2006-09-01T14:06:00.000+10:00

It’s been a while since I’ve written. I kinda wish I had something interesting to say. But I don’t. Things in my life are moving along. I’m almost done my Sweden assignment. We have the presentation on Tuesday. Last night was Alana’s 25th, I’d been organizing that, so I was really glad when it was over and I could not worry about it anymore. We have another big gigg next week. It’s going to be on sharing. I’ve worked out a couple things to help it move along. It’s pretty much been decided that when mum moves out at the end of the year Shaz will move in with me. I’m really looking forward to this. I couldn’t imagine anyone I’d rather live with more. And I’m going to be allowed to do stuff up around the house, which is REALLY exciting although I’ve got to make sure I don’t spend too much money on it. J On Sunday I got to see Tony Campolo speak. The woship was pretty crap (I’m sorry but it was) but he was great as expected. I swear I could listen to him for hours on end and never get enough. I so have to get one of his DVD’s… or several…

I guess not much else is happening around the traps. Works been reasonably busy. I went to a focus group thing for uni on Tuesday night. That was interesting, I came out of it thinking I had been really negative, but there was one girl who was very outspoken and negative and a guy that was really outspoken, and then another guy who just sounded like a fool just coz from who he is he really shouldn’t have been there, he had nothing to contribute. So at least I wasn’t like any of them. I was just in the middle. It was kinda interesting to hear other peoples opinions of stuff at uni and how all these different people work/live.

Oh, incase you are interested my latest book is – 90minutes in heaven… It’s pretty good so far. Only up to chapter 5 or 6…

My life amazes me at times…

2006-08-23T08:49:00.000+10:00

My life amazes me at times… that sounds rather conceited but I just get amazed at all that happens. Even though right now nothing interesting is happening in my life, just usual work, study, uni, church etc. But I am living through other people at the moment. Nai is getting married in November and just being a part of the wedding as far as helping her with organizing and being a sounding board it’s made it special for me. Just things like that. I’ve got soo many people who have left or are leaving to live overseas (mostly in England – actually all in England). Trav’s gone, Matt & Nori, Lorrae & Jono (although I haven’t seen much for them since they got married), Alex is in China (wohoo one not in England), Paul’s (my boss) daughter is in Nebraska, Shainlee is in Oregon (I think that’s right, somewhere on that side of the country) (wohoo two more not in England), Katie (my mentor) will be leaving in October and Joel (and Brett) are away for 3months. Ok so it doesn’t seem like that many but when so many of the people I’m close to are overseas (coz they’re from there) already so to loose more is pretty full on. Trav and Alex are two of my closest friends, and Katie’s my mentor… so these are people that I am rather close to, and in my protective world where I refuse to be vulnerable with just anyone ‘loosing’ those that I am close to makes it hard to trust into the future. The good news is Shaz called me the other day and it looks like she may need to move up to Melbourne (she lives an hour or so out of Melbourne down by the beach) and we’d said that we would live together because we both want our space… So hopefully that’ll happen, at this stage I want to put it off as long as possible (the longest is xmas) just so I can save money before I do it…
Anyway, on top of everything else I have ppl popping out babies all over the place – these ppl are my age!!! And I was really sadden to hear that a friends mum died on Monday… I think the reality of death is always a bit of a shock to the system and makes you rethink your life. I pray that I’m doing it right!

My week...

2006-08-18T11:40:00.000+10:00

This has been the craziest week. Had a late night Sunday night, Monday night was ok, had a ‘disagreement’ with one of the guys on my team for the Sweden assignment. We’ve sorted it out but I’m not sure how much work he’s actually going to do. Guess we’ll have to wait and see… the joy of group assignments. Tuesday night I got lots done for Amped and Ash. Wednesday had a quiet day at work so my boss sent me home at 1pm. Got home in time to see Oprah… that was nice… Wednesday night I did more work. Thursday I had a shocking headache all day, I don’t get headaches often and usually a coffee or 1 asprin will get rid of it. Yesterday I had 5 asprin’s over the course of the day and it still didn’t go away. I survived at work and my lunch meeting with Ash, I even started on the Sweden assignment late in the arvo when I’d finished my work. I went shopping for about an hour, just picking up the necessities and got a nice top for Nai’s wedding. Then went home and lied on the couch and watched TV. I ended up watching the movie ‘Crash’. I’d seen Oprah interview the main stars from the show and she was saying how awesome it was. AND IT WAS! I couldn’t help but wonder whether Australia was as bad as that, but I think they maybe to an extent. I just don’t see much of it. I know I make the occasional racial comment about someone’s driving and don’t think much of it, I only say it to myself. But from watching that movie I realize how much of a mind set it is, so I shouldn’t do it at all. If you haven’t seen it I highly recommend you see it.

Anyway, I’m feeling tired, a little grumpy and stiff. Bit worried I might be getting sick so I’m not going to think about it. I’m going to go now and pretend like I’m really busy at work.

Last week and this week

2006-08-14T10:38:00.000+10:00

Ok, I’ve hit catch up mode. I’ve gotten my work for the day out of the way. So now it’s time to catch up on my blog (which still no one knows about) and my emails. Last week was a really full on week, It had a lot of highs and a lot of lows. Big Gigg on Wednesday night went better than I could have ever imagined. We had 40-50ppl there, and just a really good time. And I actually got out what I wanted to say – the most exciting thing of the night for me. Work was crazy last week, and to be honest it was ‘that time of the month’ and I hadn’t had it for 4 months which means I had 4months of hormones built up! So I was rather emotional. Had some issues with Rog and Jodi was getting me to help her on stuff (nothing major) but all of it put together was just full on. And I didn’t seem to have anytime. So this week things are going to be a little more calm. I have uni tonight and in the morning, I’ll do my homework after uni and spend time with God. Tomorrow night working on Amped, Wednesday night ‘small group’, Thursday night visiting Kristi, Thursday lunch meet with Ash (the youth pastor) Friday night possibly visit a church in the city (see how I feel), Sat night Trivia night… And that’s a non-busy week! J Couple things to explain – I’ve made a commitment (starting last night) to spend one hour every night solidly praying. It’ll be late (last night was 11-12pm) but I’m excited about it.
It comes from the Cross and the Switchblade where he sells his old TV and spends the two hours a night that he used spend watching TV praying and from that comes this amazing ministry with the gangs of New York which has spread globally. So I’m excited to see what will happen with that. I’ll keep you updated. He already started making a difference last night just with Rog… it was really exciting. I love how faithful God is when we are faithful to him. The other thing to explain is why ‘small group’ has little marks (can’t remember what they are called) around it. I’ve decided not to be a part of a small group right now, a pretty bold decision I think. But one that is right for me right now. I need to spend the time growing myself just with God and hearing what he wants to say to me, not to a group. And I think I need meat rather than conversation. I’m not doing as well as I’d like to but I’m trying with it.

Anyway, my thought for this week – to somehow try to understand more – is what’s the difference between Baptist and Pentecost when they both talk about the same experience – the Pentecost is when ppl were Baptised in the Spirit…

Low moment...

2006-08-09T16:23:00.000+10:00

I’m having a bad day. Why is it that some times life just seems sooo hard. Why can’t it be easy! I know the answer to that. But today of all days I didn’t need crap and that’s all I seem to be getting today. And it’s when you are having one of these days that God seems soooo far away. I guess it’s moments like this that ‘Footprints’ becomes so true.

One night a man had a dream. He dreamed he was walking along the beach with the Lord. Across the sky flashed scenes from his life. For each scene, he noticed two sets of footprints in the sand: one belonging to him, and the other to the Lord. When the last scene of his life flashed before him, he looked back at the footprints in the sand. He noticed that many times along the path of his life there was only one set of footprints. He also noticed that it happened at the very lowest and saddest times in his life. This really bothered him and he questioned the Lord about it. "Lord, You said that once I decided to follow you, You'd walk with me all the way. But I have noticed that during the most troublesome times in my life, there is only one setof footprints. I don't understand why when I needed you most you would leave me." The Lord replied,"My son, My precious child, I love you and I would never leave you. During your times of trial and suffering, when you see only one set of footprints, it was then that I Carried You."

Just looking for pictures to put with this has cheered me up… That and the reminder that God is carrying me RIGHT NOW!!!

BTW

2006-08-07T12:29:00.000+10:00

Dinner was awesome the other night. The bruschetta bread was a bit crusty. And the icecream could have had more honey comb. And the sauce a bit more wine. But other than that it was YUM. The others seemed to like it too! :)

A lesson learnt

2006-08-07T12:27:00.000+10:00

I was having coffee at my local café the other day. And a blind lady was playing a keyboard and singing (or sometimes playing the flute instead of singing, with the keyboard doing background) a few shops up. I learnt a big lesson. I was half considering giving this to her (with coins I gave her) until the second paragraph…

People just walk past and stare. Each of them with money to spare. What is wrong with them? Can’t they see, can’t they hear the beauty that you give. I want to cry for you, for the way they mistreat you. What is wrong with this world that they can’t share their money with one who shares her heart. In the world’s view you may not be beautiful to the eye but your music is beautiful to the core. How are you and I different? If that were me what would people do?
I want to run up and hug her, thank her on your behalf, for giving that which so many others should have given. A girl that five minutes ago I criticized on the way she looked. How ironic. What a lesson to be learnt… I am no better than the rest of them…

Sweden, Uni, Dinner and everything in btwn

2006-08-01T15:16:00.000+10:00

I’m having a great day. Last night I had uni which wasn’t THAT bad… although I really need to buy the text book. Then I went to my sisters house and did homework (pretty efficient aren’t I!) and then watched TV and went to bed just after 10.30pm. I was in the room with my niece and she woke up at 5am, which was a bit rough but Sarah (my sister) took her to her room (isn’t she sweet) so I slept thru till 7.30… I’m loving this uni in the morning thing, I only get it once a week but sleeping in till 7.30am is lovely, I probably won’t do it next week, might get up at 7 so I’m not so rushed. But normally I’m at work between 7 & 7.30 so it’s a real sleep in for me!!! Anyway, my class today was meant to go for 3hrs but finished after an hour and a half. We had to make up groups for our assignment and I’d been thinking that it’d be cool to do the Sweden for the assignment (we had to choose a country that we are going to focus on their HR procedures, and any cultural differences that effect the work place) and the group I ended up in one of the guys just blurted out that he wanted to do Sweden. I was so impressed… I wonder if he’s a Christian (not for any dodgy reasons) but I wonder if God had told him or if He was just pre-warning me. Either way I’m happy!!!

Tonight is the night I get to cook my food. Pretty much what I told you about previously, bruschetta for entrée, kinda chicken parmigana on Kau Kau (it’s a natural reaction to call it that) with green and butter beans on the side. Altho I’m thinking of putting a layer of grilled capsicum between the chicken and Kau Kau. And for dessert is honeycomb ice cream, strawberry coulie and I’m going to sprinkle chocolate and honeycomb pieces on the top… I’m looking forward to that.

Ok, better get back to work, came in late coz of uni and have to leave early coz of dinner…

Sleep & Tony Campolo

2006-07-31T08:36:00.000+10:00

Yay, it’s Monday. I’m so excited! Not! I’ve taken on this new role at church, on top of being the administration for my youth pastor and administration for our young adults youth group (Amped) (and some other smaller, less time consuming ministries) I’m now the overseer of the young adults youth group. Next week we are running a mid week Big Gigg (where the small groups don’t run and we all meet together at church) and this one is going to be looking at the future of Amped. It’s a bit full on. There’s a bit of pressure on me now, coz ppl want change and I have to oversee it. Anyway, I’ve been thinking on and off about it and had some good ideas (thanks God) but last night, I was lying in bed, I went to bed about 11pm and read for a while (will talk about that later) and when I finished and tried to sleep I couldn’t, all I could think about was what I was going to do at the Big Gigg and got all these brilliant ideas. I was too tired to get up and write them down, and it didn’t feel right to do that – I’d be distracting myself when I was meant to be sleeping. I tried everything to clear my mind and sleep, but couldn’t, I read some more, prayed a little more, tried to clear my mind but I kept come back to this Big Gigg. Finally about 1.30 I made myself a cup of tea and read while drinking it. When I was finished I finally laid down and ended up thinking about PNG and going back to visit, somewhere in thinking about that I fell asleep and ended up having a dream about PNG. Don’t remember much of the dream. But I remember enjoying it and waking up happy because of it at some point between 2am and 6am when I got up. Anyway, so now I’m extremely tired, I’m REALLY unmotivated, and I can’t get my thoughts together to write down the stuff I went thru last night in regard to the Big Gigg. I remember it all, but just can’t put it in any form that’d make sense to anyone else. As much as I’m grateful to God for the ideas I’m a little frustrated that he gave it to me then… and made sleep so impossible for me… is it wrong to feel frustrated about God speaking to me?

Anyway, in regard to the book I’m reading. Mum was at Koorong the other day (the local Christian bookshop) and called me coz there was a sale on and asked if there was anything I wanted. I got the latest MercyMe CD (haven’t listened to it yet) and did a few searches for any good books. I am not actually allowed to buy books at the moment coz I have about 5 lying around my house that I haven’t read. But for some reason I looked, and decided to search under Tony Campolo, I haven’t heard much of his speaking, but I always remember him talking about holding a birthday party for a prostitute at 3am, while he was away from home speaking at a conference. The point of the story is that that is the kinda Christianity we are meant to be about. And I always wonder who my prostitute is… Who’s Jesus in my life that I need to be serving in that way. It’s kinda funny that I’m talking about that coz at church we are studying thru Joshua, and it talks about a prostitute (Rahab) who ends up realizing who God is and helping the Israelites take over Jericho (by hiding the spies)… It’s amazing what prostitutes can do… Anyway, I digress. So the book I found is called ‘Let me tell you a story’ and it’s by Tony Campolo, it’s a collection of different stories he’s heard over the years. It’s incredible. I generally find Christian books hard to read because they are trying to teach me something (that’s why I have 5 books lying around)… it gets a bit much. But this book, oh my goodness, I haven’t been able to put it down. If you get the chance get it. Even if it’s just something you refer back to at some point. It’s not necessarily going to teach you much that you don’t know, but it tells some incredible stories and reminds you of what this life, as a Christian, is all about.

What's a blog?

2006-07-28T12:55:00.000+10:00

Twice in one day. That’s probably not a good way to start. Ppl may start expecting things! J Oh well. I’m having an extremely unmotivated day at work, it’s Friday which doesn’t help. Mind you I’m not overly motivated to write anything in this either. I just checked out Wikipedia (great site!!!) to see what it said about blogs.

Here’s what it said:

A weblog, which is usually shortened to blog, is a type of website where entries are made (such as in a journal or diary), displayed in a reverse chronological order. Blogs often provide commentary or news on a particular subject, such as food, politics, or local news; some function as more personal online diaries. A typical blog combines text, images, and links to other blogs, web pages, and other media related to its topic. Most blogs are primarily textual although many focus on photographs, videos or audio…

Well, I guess that helps. Altho at the moment I have no outstanding political views that I feel like discussing. There’s nothing exciting in the local news, altho a mother of one of the players in the football team my boss coaches was struck by lightening last week during a HUGE storm we had (she’s ok!!! Just a bit shocked!!! Haha). Food is something that has been on my mind a bit lately because I have people coming for dinner on Tuesday night and I want some good… she is Sri Lankan he is Croatian, so anything with gourmet sausage, curry etc is out. I was going to make a roast vege frittata from Donna Hayes cook book but I tried it a month ago and altho it tasted alright the zucchini’s I used were too big so the whole thing ended up wetter than it was meant to be and collapsed… Now I’m thinking a kinda gourmet Chicken parmigana. But is that too cheap? Altho it won’t be cheap for me to make if you go to a restaurant the cheapest thing on the menu is a parmigana. Anyway, going to put that on a bed of orange kau kau (sweet potato) with green and butter beans. Going to have Bruschetta to start and honeycomb ice cream with strawberry coulie for dessert so I reckon it’ll be ok…

Yay, there you go I found something to write about!

My new exciting piece of information is that Sound of Music is based on a true story. By the look of it it’s not completely true (derh Em) but it has some truth to it. It sounds familiar that it is based on a true story but I never looked into it until now… It’s really interesting. The chick (Maria Von Trapp) only died in ’87 (when I was 6)… that’s pretty cool…

Ok, I’m going to update my links on here and then I’m going to call my sister. Talk to you later!

A photo of me... Walking on water

2006-07-28T09:02:00.000+10:00

This is in Sweden... I'm walking on water... I actually wasn't scared. What was Peter worried about!!! :)

Day one - better keep this short!

2006-07-28T08:34:00.000+10:00

Well, i'm here, i finally made it into the world of blogging. I'm gonna keep this short coz i really haven't figured out what i'm doing yet... All week i've had these random (this is my current 'fav word') thoughts about starting a blog. The funny thing is this morning i didn't actually have one of those thoughts. I was at work, kinda bored (have work to do but don't want to do it) so decided it was time i set this up. May not tell anyone until there are a couple decents posts on here... And i've set up the page so it looks interesting.

Anyway, the reason i started this - i believe every person should have their life recorded - everyone has a story! I also have friends around the world with blogs and I enjoy catching up on their lives by reading their blogs (it's a good distraction from work as well). And that's why i'm here... There the main reasons anyway... there's probably more but i'll wait a while and maybe explain those another day...

Anyway, welcome to my world. Enjoy. Feel free to comment or ask anything. It'd mix things up a little!

Cheers,
M